frugi.co.uk
OOPcart

form flounders where function failed

Welcome to my humble home. The ultimate purpose of this desultory patch of web space is uncertain. However, the current and pressing reason for its pitiful existence is simply to provide a canvas on which I can experiment. After ten years' of self-employment as a derivatives trader, a rewarding but perhaps somewhat narrow field in which to develop one's entire career, I am decidedly eager for change and inspired to nestle under the welcoming umbrella of web development, where logic and creativity sing a mean harmony. Obviously this means I need deft skills in the relevant areas:

pikachu doing a somersault

These are the typical tools of the contemporary dynamic site developer so I must know them intimately. Fortunately I have a minuscule head start as I once tarnished the internet with my own dangerously loose HTML several years ago, when Dreamweaver was but a wee lad in the short trousers of version 2. It would have knackered a modern validator engine.

More dubiously I can offer, erm, a history of programming the BBC Master 128k in assembly language at school, often in order to coerce it and twelve of its friends to play an indescribably irritating rendition of Cavatina with a 50ms delay between each; or to build elaborate trojan horses to capture the occasional password (for ethical use only, of course!). Neither activity brought joy to my poor computer master, but at least I discovered a peculiar love for coding. At school I also benefitted from an excellent grounding in Latin and Greek, neither one a particularly easy language, especially when required to translate from one to the other. To return to the present, one of the joys of working for Leeds University is free access to a staggering range of books and since the New Year I have taken the opportunity to burrow through a vast number to complement my fierce retraining schedule. I've listed some of my favourites in the sidebar on the About page. Fortunately much of the content has remained between my ears and is ready to help sell your product, build a killer bleeding-edge application or improve your institution's web presence. More on that later.

portfolio

Pouring theory into my head is only a quarter of the battle, of course. The proof is in the pudding, so I need a site like this to demonstrate tangible (well, visible) results of my mental labours. So far, they are not going to raise an eyebrow, except in derision: I am all too aware that these early pages are reminiscent of a boring fourteen year old wannabe hacker's, perhaps worse. However grant me some time and this will change.

Meanwhile, here's a sketch in progress: a childishly simple page that sports offputting complementary colours, a style sheet switcher and a vaguely cunning CSS/PHP navigation bar.

I've also coded up this Pool League page on behalf of some friends, who specified parts of the design and will be adding their own dynamic content later. This taught me a lot about responding to client needs and sharing workflow among a team.

Here's an opportunity to buy some kittens, a basic CMS admin page, a handy booze calculator and a weird plate graphic!

Finally, the project du jour: a shopping cart application using OOP. As you can see I've only just started this.

for hire

If you happen to be a potential employer who wants a bright and eager junior to join your development team then please get in touch. As I am simply looking for a creative and intellectually rewarding way to spend my time, the level of salary is unimportant (within reason). If I can build this site from scratch in 18.181 weeks (frugi was born on 1/3/08) with no previous knowledge of CSS 2/PHP/SQL, while working full time, imagine what my undivided attention could do for you in a few months. If you are not convinced (and I admit I might not be on this scant evidence) then please check back soon, as I am determined to create a portfolio that demonstrates my ability to tackle every stage of a site's development with aplomb. Please feel free to contact me here.

i only want to see some llamas

For family and friends who have choked on this technical self-aggrandising nonsense and who simply want to see some low quality snaps of Patmos, Bequia, our wedding, or yes, llamas, please click on the red portion of the "Simon" game above this column (or here) and you shall be faintly rewarded. I'm afraid you'll need to register first so I have a vague idea of who's looking at them. Well, actually I don't care at all, but it was a good excuse to write some more code.


llama mosaic picture

Llama ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. The bottom of this page is messy and I'm trying to fix it with dummy text. Donec id risus. Suspendisse potenti. What a glorious llama. Suspendisse condimentum metus nec velit gravida tempor. Llama llama everywhere a llama. Nunc vitae nulla at purus tempor lacinia. Quisque fringilla, enim ut egestas laoreet, risus tellus accumsan sem, non placerat nunc justo tristique nunc. Praesent venenatis orci summa cum llama. Etiam vitae enim fermentum purus cursus consectetuer. Phasellus vulputate est eu orci. Sed sagittis eros ut orci. Nullam lectus quam, venenatis sit amet, dictum eu, congue a, orci. Etiam ligula dui, fermentum vitae, mattis sit amet, porta ut, pede. Aenean diam. Proin eros nunc, fringilla vel, vulputate nec, elementum ultrices, odio. This page renders best on Firefox at 1024 x 975. Suspendisse porta tempus augue. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Curabitur eu elit ut ligula cursus hendrerit. Etiam iaculis, elit ut gravida rutrum, turpis est convallis tortor, et blandit mi eros et tellus. And llama.